'The Oxford Arms', Newcastle-under-Lyme, England, 6th September 2001
Mark L. Potts, Sep 08 2001
Now you all know me, your very own God of Thunder.
I've said on many occasions over the last year or so that I've been a fan since the beginning.
I love Demon.
You all know that, I've made no secret of it. My impartiality and objectivity, where Demon is concerned, has been called into question in the past, but I have always said that I will tell you the truth about the live shows I attend.
I have posted many reviews over the last year or so, and all have dealt honestly with the good and bad points of each live performance. OK, I may have obfuscated certain facts, and glossed over the odd cock-up here and there, but, on the whole, I have never seen Demon play what I would consider to be a bad gig.
But, how do you know what a bad gig is, Your Immenseness?
Well, Sparky, I've been to a few...Ray "Mr Hat" Walmsley was even at one of the same ones I went to - KISS, Bingley Hall, 1983. Then there was Def Leppard on the High and Dry Tour, boy were they crap? Yes, Sparky, they were! I walked out and sat on the steps to wait for my lift home. Oh, and then there was Demon, last night.
What? Demon, your favourite band played badly?
Yes, Sparky, they were totally sucktacular!
I can't believe you're writing such things, Your Voluminosity. I consider my gob to have been well and truly smacked...
OK, two things, Sparky, my little loquacious little sprite. Firstly, Demon did, indeed perform a set of the most heinous ugliness and, secondly, watch your mouth or I will smack your gob for you, for sure.
That's better. Good Sparky. A little lower, oh yes just there...Now where was I? Ah yes. Demon sucking, big time. Like a Dyson. It was indeed "One Helluva Night", HELL, being the operative word. How can I best describe the performance? Let me see...
I would have described it as perhaps the sort of sound you might have heard emanating from within an Albanian Karaoke Bar on "Norman Wisdom does Mr Grimsdale Night", but Sparky here, feels that the sound was more akin that of a "Spanish Inquisition Bring Your Own Thumbscrews Night." Torquemada would have certainly recorded this performance and kept it for future use.
Indeed, at one point, I did feel that gnawing off my own leg to distract me from the pain, which was assailing my bleeding ears, was the only solution to stop the torture. Mercifully the gig finished before I got much past the ankle.
It couldn't have been that bad, Your Magnitude...
Well Sparky, you should know, you were there...
I know, I know, it's just too painful....
There, there Sparky...
OK, so maybe I exaggerate a little. I didn't gnaw off my own foot. But Demon did have a bad gig. They played a lacklustre show, littered with missed lines, fluffed guitar parts and the sound was an unbalanced cacophony of magnificently sucktitudinal proportions.
And, you know what, Sparky, I'm glad!
What you talkin' bout, God of Thunder? Have you lost your slight grip on reality, Your Planetarium?
No, fear not, my androgynous little gremlin, I know whereof I speak. I am glad they had a bad gig last night. They got all of the nerves and mistakes out of the way in front of an audience that wasn't particularly interested one way or another, or knew that they were better than that. There is a big difference between a band like Demon - a great band having an off night - and a truly bad band. Demon will play a blistering gig in Germany on Saturday, when it really matters. That is what is important.
I certainly hope so, Your Grossness, I'm looking forward to it.
You're going Sparky?
Mark L. Potts
The God of Thunder